(This is Part 5 of the series, Twelve Pieces of Flesh where I discuss the crisis of conscience of the Christian writer–say that three times fast. I recommend reading Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 before continuing.)
The question was simple, one any author should know. But I had no answer. I choked–at the perfect time too: this was my first face-to-face with the owners of Crimson Tree Publishing a couple weeks after they picked up my book. I had just stumbled my way through summarizing the plot, which was half me saying, “No, really, it’s better in context.” Then one of them asked me, “Why did you write this?”
“Uhh…”
I told them a few reasons that came to me over the course of my writing: my family members who survived and didn’t perpetuate the abusive cycle, my friends who suffered abuse at the hands of pastors and parents, how I wanted to rid myself of the latent shit from my childhood shit town. But, on the days when smashing my skull through drywall sounded more fun than fixing a chapter, those were not the reasons that kept me going.
I just had to get it out.
Once I told my husband that writing a novel is like having food poisoning. You just have to vomit until you’re empty. Otherwise, you feel sick until you do. (Don’t take this metaphor too far. Writing doesn’t make me nauseous, and I hope the end product is better than puke. But, hey, I never claimed to be some brilliant writer. That’s the best illustration you’re going to get.)
“If a story is in you, it has to come out.” –William Faulkner, author of As I Lay Dying
Circle all the way back to Part 1 when Jonalyn encouraged me to compare my reasons for writing Never Touched absent of any sugar coating to God’s reasons for including gore in the Bible. I didn’t know the answer before I started the book, but after a couple months of writing, it became clear: I had to tell the truth. And the truth was brazen.
But so is abuse, isn’t it?
So, does this match God’s reasons? After meditating on the Judges passage, I felt that God included details of depravity to show humanity’s vile nature, to show how far we, even his people, are from holiness, to show how desperately we need a Savior.
To show how much he loved us to send his Son to be it.
So, yeah, I think I’m in the clear. More than that, I think any Christian author who wants to write honest fiction is in the clear.
Maybe you disagree. Maybe you believe even the best intentions pave the road to hell, that nothing excuses crafting entertainment that is less than “noble,” “right,” or “pure.”* (My two cents: the road to hell is more likely paved with adverbs.** Or unbought stuffed dogs.***)
If that’s the case, I’ll leave you with this. If you want to judge, protest, or ostracize Christian authors who write mainstream books, by all means, do so. You are welcome to spend your energy that way. Before you do, though, please consider what you read, watch, and listen to. The Christian family member who criticized my aspiration to be a screenwriter because I “would have to compromise my beliefs to be successful” enjoys watching at least one popular television show riddled with explicit language and sexual content. If Christians should be condemned for producing something with PG-13+ content, why is it acceptable for them to be entertained by it?
Thank you for bearing with me through this five-part series. I hope it was helpful or at least interesting. I look forward to having fruitful discussions with you once Never Touched releases.
*Philippians 4:8
**Stephen King
***Ernest Hemingway