Dear 17-Year-Old Me,
It’s you, from the future (cue Twilight Zone music).
You just got engaged. Congratulations!
As you will soon find, people will be vocal about your decision to wed a month after it is legal. You’ll be strangled by doubt and well-meaning warnings. Seven years down the road, here’s what I can tell you about the leap you took.
1. You are not in love…
…but it’s cute that you think you are. What you feel for Mr. Wylde now doesn’t even register on the scale compared to what you will feel for him in seven years.
2. You don’t know who you are yet.
And if you wait to marry Mr. Wylde until you do, you’ll never marry him. So, when people tell you this as a reason not to get married, just say, “You’re right. I don’t. Do you know who you are?” If they say yes, tell them to f*** off. Or something nicer. I forget you haven’t lost your filter yet. But you will, and it’ll be so fun.
3. You’re going to miss out on other guys.
You’re going to worry about not being able to date the new guys you meet at college. Sure, you could be happy with one of them. And, Mr. Wylde could be happy with another girl. This logic doesn’t end after college graduation, though. There’s always going to be someone else you could be happy with. Getting married means choosing to be happy with just one person. FOMO is no reason to stay single (Oh, that’s Fear Of Missing Out. I don’t know if you have that acronym yet.). People will try to convince you otherwise. Don’t let them.
4. You are not the only one who doesn’t know what you’re getting into.
In a couple years, Mr. Wylde will decide to pursue medical school, and, in response, you’ll throw a Godzilla-size tantrum and claim that you didn’t sign up to marry a doctor, that you in fact declared before you wed that you never wanted to marry one.
But, when Mr. Wylde has to stash away blades for your safety, he’ll never tell you that he didn’t sign up to marry a psych patient. When he has to tend to you at 4:00AM Christmas morning because you miscarried the first of four babies you’d lose, he’ll never tell you that he signed up to be with a woman who could give him kids. When you make a $10K mistake, he’ll never tell you he signed up to marry someone financially responsible.
Neither of you knew what you were getting into. And it won’t make a difference.
5. You’re not dying. No part of you is.
People will act like your life is ending when you say “I do.” Some will literally mourn. It’ll be an awkward wedding.
Guess what: you don’t have to grow up because you’re getting married. You don’t have to change. You don’t have to be anybody other than the person Mr. Wylde proposed to.
You just get to have him forever.
All the best,
Laney
Ps. You’re not fat. Stop saying you are. It’s annoying all your friends and your fiance.
